Are You Selflessly Serving or Just People Pleasing?


Editor’s Note: Do you need sound, Biblically-based advice on an issue in your marriage or family?  Dr. David Hawkins, director of the Marriage Recovery Center, will address questions from Crosswalk readers in his weekly column. Submit your question toTheRelationshipDoctor@gmail.com.

Many seem to feel the freedom to tell us what we ought to think, how we ought to behave and even what we ought to feel. They know what’s best for us and exactly how we should live our lives.

These people are not evil, and I doubt that they have bad intentions. They are our sisters, brothers, mothers and fathers, neighbors and sit next to us in church. Having questionable boundaries, and believing they have special insight into our lives, they share freely with us.

Unfortunately, our boundaries are often no better. Being confused, we allow people to overly influence our decisions. We want their approval, and in some cases are desperate for it. We live from the outside in, according to other’s expectations, rather than from the inside out, according to our authenticity.

Living codependently, our minds get muddled. We become more confused about what we think, feel and want. Sometimes we even feel guilty tuning into our own desires, feeling selfish for having them. Hearing so many voices, we can’t distinguish those coming from ourselves, others or God. Simply put, there are too many people in our heads.

A recent email summarized many of these issues:

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What is Your Eternal Destination?

Click the play button below to listen now.

Where did you go on your last summer vacation? Where are you going on your next summer vacation? When you drive a vehicle, your goal is to arrive safely at your destination. There is no certainty that you will arrive safely, but you will use all of your knowledge as a driver to attain this goal.

However, there is a final destination that you have total control over. At the end of your life, you will arrive at either heaven or hell. It is your choice to make. No one will have a say-so on this trip, because you are your own driver, and you have the opportunity to choose your own destination. Continue reading

Getting Rid of the Green-Eyed Monster in Your Marriage

It affects every marriage at one time or another – jealousy. In fact, in a nationwide survey, marriage counselors said jealousy is a problem for one-third of all couples they counsel.

Whether it’s a mild or major case, jealousy can have a big impact on your relationship. You may feel jealousy when you experience the heightened threat from a rival. Most of us become jealous when we see our spouse having a great time with a person of the opposite sex – especially if that person seems a little too friendly. No matter how much your spouse may attempt to reassure you, another person’s interest in him or her raises all your red flags. Continue reading

God’s Simple Plan of Salvation

My Friend: I am asking you the most important question of life. Your joy or your sorrow for all eternity depends upon your answer. The question is: Are you saved? It is not a question of how good you are, nor if you are a church member, but are you saved? Are you sure you will go to Heaven when you die?

God says in order to go to Heaven, you must be born again. In John 3:7, Jesus said to Nicodemus, “Ye must be born again.”

In the Bible God gives us the plan of how to be born again which means to be saved. His plan is simple! You can be saved today. How? Continue reading